3 'Myths' About Acne That Are Actually True (VIDEO)

For some, the word "acne" drudges up memories of pimple-prone teen years and blemishes of decades past. For others, it's an all-too-common affliction that follows them into adulthood. Whether you're prone to the occasional breakout or you've been battling acne for longer than you'd like to admit, you've heard plenty of theories about causes. And while many of these are just myths -- a precious few do turn out to be true.



Dr. Emmy Graber, a dermatologist at Boston Medical Center, helps separate fact from fiction in the above video from the web series #OWNSHOW. In it, she reveals three supposed "myths" that actually aren't myths at all.



1. Stress causes acne in everyone.



It's true. Though some might like to dismiss the connection between stress and skin, Graber says it does indeed exist. Not only that, but even people with typically clear skin can find themselves fighting a flare-up when they come under stress. "We do know that stress can cause breakouts in people who don't normally have acne-prone skin," she explains. "In people who already have acne, stress can make it worse."



2. Eating pizza can cause acne.



Step away from the slice. It's a favorite food among many, but pizza can be another acne-causing culprit. "We used to tell our patients that that was not true, however, there are some new studies that suggest that it may be true for some people," Graber says. "There's new evidence that shows that foods that have a high glycemic index such as carbohydrates -- your white rices, your white breads, such as pizza crust -- may cause acne for some people.



3. Stress-related breakouts are different from other types of acne.



If you've ever sensed that your stress-induced breakout felt different than another bout of acne, you're not imagining things. "People who experience breakouts during times of stress do describe their breakouts to be more tender, maybe feel like they're a little bit deeper underneath the skin," Graber says.



Stress doesn't just cause acne. Watch Dr. Graber explain what other full-body skin condition is triggered by stress and what you can do to treat it.







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Ditching Resolution and Going for Happy: An Intentional Practice of Simple Delight

I officially ditched the New Year's resolution tradition last year. Who wants to sign up for commitment that holds an 88 percent failure rate, anyway? For 2014, I focused on a specific intention: to feel greater ease in my mind and body. As a somatic mindfulness professional, I know what ease and wellbeing feel like in my body, and I focused on spending more time feeling that way. It was radically simple and totally awesome.



The intention over resolution approach gave me mindful focus over the long haul, with enough wiggle room to feel like a playfully curious explorer along the way. It was a failure resistant plan that my recovering perfectionist could embrace, fueled by a set of informal mindfulness mico-practices that were so successful they will appear as a written collection later this year. My resolution break up resulted in a great new partnership of loosely held intention and specific, tangible tools.



So I'm sticking with a winner and holding a mindful intention again this year, and doubling down with a continued exploration of micro-practices; I've decided to go big and go happy for 2015. Fortunately, I've got some science on my side.



The scientific community got serious about happiness in 2007, when Sonja Lyubomirsky unveiled research suggesting that 40 percent of our happiness is determined by intentional activity; despite genetic predisposition and life circumstances, we can actually choose to be happy. Since then, the study of happiness has exploded, and everyone from the Dalai Lama to Mary Lou Rettin seems to have a recommendation on just what that intentional activity should be.



My personal experience with happiness is similar to my experience with feeling ease and wellbeing in my body: It's already there, it's always been there, and it's available at any moment in time. What's required is a practice that brings us back again and again. So my intention for greater happiness in the coming year will be supported by the exploration of a single micro-practice: the practice of simple delight.



The practice of simple delight involves the simple noticing of little things throughout the day that tickle my fancy -- the pink hue of a winter sunrise, the cool of my pillow when I roll over at night, the comforting sound of rain on the rooftop, the soul satisfying, thirst quenching delight of a single swig of cold beer. It's the ultimate, ready access, feel good moment.



What's great about the simple delight practice is that, over time, you actually become more inclined to practice. Unlike running, dieting and "shoulding" yourself into a new behavior, it feels good to notice the good, and the result is a deep, subtle impact on every corner of life. As Rick Hanson so eloquently describes in his work with neural plasticity and attraction thinking, by noticing the good, you actually change your brain to become increasingly inclined to notice the good more of the time. It's a self sustaining, upward spiral towards general happiness instead of a big stick slog towards a specific new behavior. Way more fun, right?



So consider a break from resolution this year and play with a few days of simple delight. No big agenda, no seriousness around embracing this or embodying that -- just noticing the little things that bring you a sense of lightness and appreciation. Like a little kid, keep it simple and start small -- perhaps two delights a day -- and notice what happens over the course of a week. The more you notice, the more there is to notice, and the better you feel every time you notice, yet again, something delightful.



Need more convincing that small moves mean big change? Check out this new book from Caroline L. Arnold on microresolutions and consider an intentional year of small delights.



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More Than 1.5 Million Cancer Deaths Avoided Thanks To Advances In Prevention, Detection

By Reuters Staff



(Reuters Health) - More than 1.5 million Americans avoided death from cancer since 1991 thanks to falling smoking rates and better cancer prevention, detection and treatments, according to a study from the American Cancer Society.



The overall rate of deaths from cancer decreased from about 215 per 100,000 people in 1991 to about 169 per 100,000 people in 2011, researchers found.



"Further reductions in cancer death rates can be accelerated by applying existing cancer control knowledge across all segments of the population, with an emphasis on those in the lowest socioeconomic bracket and other disadvantaged populations," write Rebecca Siegel and her colleagues in CA: A Cancer Journal for Clinicians.



For the new report, the researchers compiled data from the National Cancer Institute, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Center for Health Statistics.



During the most recent years with data available, 2007 through 2011, cancer cases decreased by 1.8 percent among men and remained steady among women, they found.



For those years, deaths from cancer also decreased by 1.8 percent among men and fell by 1.4 percent among women.



Although the overall cancer death rate dropped over the past two decades, the researchers also found that not all Americans benefited equally. The decline in deaths varied from state to state.



For example, declines in cancer deaths reached about 15 percent in southern states, compared to drops of 20 percent or more in northern states. Southern states also had the highest current cancer death rates.



"The large geographic variation in cancer death rates and trends reflects differences in risk factor patterns, such as smoking and obesity, as well as disparities in the national distribution of poverty and access to health care, which have increased over time," the researchers write.



Using the same data, the authors also estimate the number of cancer cases and deaths for 2015.



Overall, they estimate that about 1.7 million cancer cases and about 590,000 cancer deaths will occur in the U.S. during the coming year.



They predict prostate cancer will remain the most diagnosed cancer among men and breast cancer the most diagnosed among women. Lung cancer will be the second most diagnosed cancer among both sexes, but will be the leading cause of cancer deaths for both sexes.



Among children ages one to 14 years, leukemia will be the most diagnosed. For older children between ages 15 to 19 years, cancers of the brain and nervous system will be most common, the researchers say.



In a statement emailed to Reuters Health, Dr. Steven Rosen, provost and chief scientific officer at City of Hope, said people should be vigilant for increasing cancer rates from a number of factors, including obesity.



"Recreational marijuana use can increase lung cancer and the rise of sexually transmitted diseases is associated with cancer risk," said Rosen, who wasn't involved in the new study. "In addition, cancer is associated with aging, and as life expectancy fortunately increases, cancer rates will rise proportionately."



SOURCE: http://bit.ly/1D66Cz4 CA: A Cancer Journal for Clinicians, online December 30, 2014.





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3 Steps to Improving Your New Year's Resolutions

Do New Year's resolutions work?



Yes! If you do!



Resolving to do something for the new year doesn't mean that you post it on Facebook, tell all your buddies or girlfriends and then promptly forget about it once Jan. 2 hits.



You must resolve to make this New Year's resolution into a changed behavior.



There's a huge difference between the things you do every day, every single day, and the things you do only when you are inspired.



You will find that once you've committed to doing something daily, the inspiration comes, but only after you discipline yourself to do what you are supposed to do.



I've found that in my life most change came out of desperation NOT inspiration. I was desperate for a change, I made the change and then BOOM, I was inspired.



3 Steps to Improved New Years Resolutions



1. Write down what you want to achieve this year. Yes, writing it down is more powerful then just spouting it out.



2. Put a plan down in writing on what you need to do to achieve your desired outcome in the new year.



3. Schedule it. Yes, open your calendar and schedule when you are going to do what you have resolved to do. Goals are just dreams until written down and scheduled.



I know this sounds simplistic. Because it is.



BUT...



It isn't easy. If it were easy everyone would achieve all the "said" they wanted to do in the new year.



Since you are reading this, my guess is you are a doer and not just a talker, so take out your note pad and your calendar right now and get to work on making 2105 your most accomplished and fulfilling year yet!!!



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Whether for Life or for One Year, Banning Gay Blood Donation Is Bad Science

Just before Christmas, the FDA accepted the recommendation of a U.S. Department of Health and Human Services panel and announced that it would modify its ban on blood donations from gay and bisexual men. Instead of barring such men from donation for life, as the policy had done up to that point, the FDA will now accept blood from gay and bisexual men who have been celibate for at least one year.



While this shift represents nominally better policy, it preserves the ban's core problem: the fact that the FDA is targeting a high-risk group (men who have sex with men) instead of high-risk behavior (unprotected sex, especially unprotected receptive anal sex, with multiple partners -- regardless of the gender of those involved). Not only is the ban unjust, but statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) also indicate that the policy is scientifically baseless.



The FDA's blood-donation guidelines apply to questionnaires used by the Red Cross and other blood-collection agencies. Prospective donors respond to survey questions that ask about their travel history, drug usage, and other risk factors associated with disease transmission. People with certain responses are asked to disqualify themselves from donation.



Because it highlights activities that increase the risk of disease, this practice should function as an important educational tool. But by suggesting that gay and bisexual men are at risk and straight people aren't, the FDA's guidelines misinform the public. To the extent that it contributes to ignorance of the risks associated with certain types of heterosexual sex, the FDA's policy, even in its revised form, actually presents a public-health concern.



The FDA's insistence on outdated, unscientific guidelines for blood-donor deferral also undermines its credibility more generally. Diminished credibility could have significant ramifications; for example, it may be harder to debunk the myth that vaccinations cause autism without high levels of public confidence in the FDA. Most of the FDA's recommendations about food and drug safety are surely legitimate, but critics of these recommendations can now point to a clear instance -- blood-donor-eligibility criteria -- in which the organization has disregarded the facts.



Some people might contend that the one-year ban is an improvement, albeit a very small one, over the lifetime ban. As minimal progress can be considered better than no progress at all, this argument isn't necessarily wrong. But organizations also sometimes adopt nominally better policy to pacify opposition and avert or postpone more sweeping changes.



Regardless of the FDA's motives in this case, their policy remains backwards. In addition to inappropriately stigmatizing gay and bisexual men, the blood ban spreads misinformation about public health and harms the FDA's credibility. It is therefore imperative that activists apply pressure until the FDA embraces science and adopts the focus on actual high-risk behavior that has worked in Italy for the past 13 years.



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High-Tech for Brain Training: Top 12 News in 2014

Unless you live in a cave, you are well aware of all the growing interest in, and controversies around, the topic of brain training, especially whether technology can enhance -- or hinder -- our brain health and cognitive performance.








A little perspective may help separate the signal from the noise. Take a minute to think about the early years of the physical fitness movement. It took decades of conflicting research and confusing media coverage to finally spread the idea that daily life activities are far from sufficient to keep us physically fit. And, at the same time, to develop the exercise protocols, the validated assessments, the professional standards and bodies, and the overall infrastructure to support the emerging "being fit" aspiration. From those humble beginnings, health club memberships in 2014 amounted to $78+ billion dollars in annual revenues.



Same as with physical fitness, maintaining if not enhancing brain fitness requires a holistic approach which includes mental novelty, variety and targeted challenge. Our routine-driven daily mental activities are simply not enough. One can achieve this in multiple ways: learning and practicing a new language, mastering meditation, rotating through complex professional assignments, volunteering to run a hiking or cycling club... and, also, understanding, navigating and using the emerging technology-enabled brain fitness toolkit at our disposal.







Check this out: 83 percent of surveyed early-adopters agree that "adults of all ages should take charge of their own brain fitness, without waiting for their doctors to tell them to" and say that they "would personally take a brief assessment every year as an annual mental check-up."



Here are some of the most important brain training news in 2014, covering research, assessment and training trends. They hint at the drivers fueling growth and shaping up the emerging landscape. Hopefully, in relatively short notice, we will all benefit from a brain fitness/ brain training field as proven and valuable as the physical fitness field is today.

• In January: Rosetta Stone completes acquisition of Fit Brains creator Vivity Labs, entering fast-growing brain-training market


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• In April: Groundbreaking online registry at UCSF to drive brain disease research


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• In May: Baycrest memory experts launch "thermometer" for the mind


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• In June: Feeding the brain's curiosity helps delay Alzheimer's, study says


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• In August: InteraXon teams up with Reebok & Gaiam to bring biometrics-based meditation to the masses


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• In October: Thync gets $13 million to send electric currents to your brain


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• In October: Brain-training companies get advice from some academics, criticism from others


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• In October: AnthroTronix receives FDA clearance for brain health assessment tool


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• In October: 200+ experts in 16 countries gather around a virtual table to discuss and shape brain health innovation


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• In November: Frontiers in Human Neuroscience completes research series on effects of game and game-like training on neurocognitive plasticity


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• In December: Apple names brain training apps "Best of 2014″ in 20+ countries


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• In December: 127 scientists challenge the purported brain training "consensus" released by the Stanford Center for Longevity

As you can see, there's much going on, and much to look for in the near future.



Have a great 2015!



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Some 'Benign' Breast Masses Pose Greater Cancer Risk Than We Thought

By Gene Emery



(Reuters Health) - A type of "benign" mass found in the breast tissue of about 100,000 U.S. women each year poses a greater risk of cancer than previously thought, according to a new review.



The mass is classified as atypical hyperplasia, or atypia. Most women who have it - and one out of 10 women who have a breast biopsy do - are usually told that their test result was benign, even though their cells seemed to be exhibiting some early characteristics of a tumor.



Doctors may tell those women that they face an above-average risk of cancer so they need to be followed more closely, a recommendation based on the fact that such women are four or five times more likely to develop breast cancer. But that statistic isn't meaningful for a woman who doesn't know what the normal risk is.



Researchers have now cast that risk in more concrete terms in the January 1 issue of the New England Journal of Medicine.



Women with atypia, they found, have a 7 percent risk of developing a tumor with five years after the biopsy, a 13 percent risk after 10 years and a 30 percent risk after 25 years.



Researchers at Vanderbilt University have found a similar risk level.



"It gives you the scale of the risk" and it turns out to be a bit higher than the estimated risk that comes from some popular methods used to try to predict a woman's likelihood of developing breast cancer, said Dr. Lynn Hartmann of the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, who led the review.



The findings should change the way women with atypia are treated, leading to more-aggressive screening using MRI and more emphasis on using drugs that have actually been shown to prevent breast cancer, she told Reuters Health.



The American Cancer Society (ACS) has said that an MRI scan is worthwhile for women whose lifetime risk of breast cancer is 20 to 25 percent, Hartmann said.



"But they didn't feel that women with atypical hyperplasia met that risk." Based on this new analysis, they do.



"They've got a legitimate point," said Dr. Otis Brawley, chief medical officer of the ACS, who was not connected with the research. Women with atypia probably should be getting an MRI instead of a conventional mammogram. In addition, cancer prevention with drugs such as tamoxifen or raloxifene should be an option, he said.



For example, with raloxifene, "We've done the science. We've proven that it lowers the risk for women at high risk and I don't understand why more people won't take it," Brawley said. "We have a large number of women who are undergoing the surgical removal of both breasts to reduce their risk of breast cancer, yet we have a pill with very few side effects that can prevent cancer and people are passing it up."



It's not clear how many women who have had a "benign" biopsy have been told they have atypical hyperplasia.



Hartmann said if a patient has been told she had "some early abnormal cells" or "abnormal cells" or "atypical cells that are benign," she might want to contact her doctor to weigh her options.



"We're not saying every woman who has ever had a biopsy should try to track it back because 90 percent of the time the woman won't have atypia," she said. "But if there was any question at the time when she had a conversation, she might want to clarify it further."



"Go talk to your internist who did the referral," Brawley said. "That's someone with whom you should have an open and honest conversation about this. You should be getting, at the absolute minimum, a high-quality mammogram every year with a radiologist who is aware of the previous diagnosis. She should perhaps consider getting an MRI screening."



He cautioned, however, that there is still no hard evidence that being more aggressive in looking for breast cancer in women with atypia will actually prevent deaths, but "I still want to do it because it think we probably do save lives."



Hartmann said many women with atypia are not getting drugs like tamoxifen because of the risk of side effects. But the new analysis of previous research shows that when you compare side effect rates of women getting the drug and the rates with placebo, "the number of serious side effects is very low."



She said post-menopausal women also have the option of taking an aromatase inhibitor such as anastrozole.



SOURCE: http://bit.ly/1Ah5uJv New England Journal of Medicine, online December 31, 2014.





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Forget Resolutions, Visualize 2015

Whether you are religious, spiritual or agnostic, the holidays can inspire a rebirth of our spirits as we look towards the new year. The cultural fad of making resolutions leads to a myriad of responses, and outcomes, few that go beyond hail Mary hopes and dart board dreams that have no root in reality.



Arianna Huffington and Oprah Winfrey, Dr. Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra are among those who talk about the power of tapping meditative energy, which has far more potential than resolutions.



Visualize the life you want to lead.



Hold the first image as a snapshot. Click on it to unleash the mini movie of your life to see what frames come next. Edit out what has never worked before, the inauthentic, replacing a rejected frame with one that resonates more deeply, because you can sense the properties of making it manifest.



Replay your new visualization, imagining through your mind that you can attract, create and start imprinting what you want for yourself in your brain as code that sticks.



Close your eyes and run it again.



It's not enough to dream.



How do you react to the video playing across your brain? How does it make you feel? If happiness isn't a component, scrap your visualization and begin again.



Ask yourself why your initial visualizations didn't bring you joy. Was it a compilation of what others want for you? Was it unrealistic and loaded down with the prospect of way too much effort to make your life enjoyable? Did your visualizations seem impossible to manifest?



Your deadline isn't Jan. 1, 2015, which is the beginning of this process.



Embrace that being happy on the way to getting what you want is a catalyst to creation. Spending your days in dreary duty of paying the bills will not help you manifest your heart's desire unless you also appreciate that your every day work is only a temporary passage to get where you want to go. You're not stuck, you're doing what it takes. But to manifest something beyond your daily work life you also must play instigator to your own liberation.



Resolutions won't get you there.



Visualizations ride on the magic carpet of intentions. They begin where you are right now. They inspire you to formulate a pathway to the next step of getting what you want. It's all predicated on energy that is inspirational, electrically charged with hope, while being grounded in the knowledge that what you're visualizing is true to who you are and not what someone else wants for you or expects of you.



That means that if there are people in your life pushing you in a direction that doesn't resonate you must distance yourself from their input and coercive influences, because they are drowning out your voice, even if they have the best of intentions.



Resolutions more often shadow us, mocking our efforts to take flight at the moment the New Year opens up opportunities to set us free from the past.



When we fail at living up to our resolutions the trail is lost.



Visualizations are alive. They aren't part of a static, numbered or ordered list.



Resolutions are rules to follow.



Visualizations are our instincts seen as a map. Sure, we'll get lost at times, but the route remains, because it's formulated from our heart's desires, which never abandons us.



Resolutions are like pills, things prescribed, but which inevitably smack up against an expiration date, even if we don't acknowledge the date they disappear.



Visualizations are predicated on passion. The one thing we always return to in yearning, because it's the one thing we need to thrive and be happy, the most important things in life that lead to where instinct lives and intentions manifest.



Striving to accomplish, whether it's through resolutions or goals, clutters passageways where attraction flows.



Visualize the life you want. Play it over and over again until signs start showing up that you're telling the story of the life you want. You can edit what's playing in your mind, but don't ever give up.



What you've created is a meditation for happiness and purpose that won't ever expire.



Taylor Marsh is an author and speaker living outside Washington, D.C. She is the author of The Hillary Effect, with her latest book on relationships and getting what you want titled, The Sexual Education of a Beauty Queen -- Relationship Secrets from the Trenches.



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The Gift of Life

The worth and meaning of a gift do not come from the size of the box, its monetary value, or even the ribbon that adorns it. Its meaning comes from how it makes you feel inside as the recipient and as the giver. The greatest gifts are not boxes filled with things, but beautiful presents that hold so much more: love, kindness, selflessness, and gratitude. They all make up the beautiful gift of life.



A Miraculous Gift

I have received the most beautiful of gifts. This gift cannot fit in a box, nor can it merely be purchased: It is one of a kind and irreplaceable. What is this magnificent gift? My life.



A month ago, cystic fibrosis annihilated my life. Sure, CF has always been present in my life, but never has it threatened to steal it all so quickly: to unabashedly wreak havoc on everything I know and love. To make my life almost unrecognizable. To be confronted with some difficult questions, realities of CF, and the possibilities of what the near and distant future might look like. My eyes brim with tears as I think about the last month, and what it all means: the gift that is life and the people that make my days so beautiful.








In the course of a month, my lung function has steadily increased despite a new bacteria making its home in my lungs: adding itself to the already resistant team of bacteria trying to undermine every breath. I am so grateful to my CF team for literally giving me every breath and continuing to fight with me and for me. A month ago I couldn't walk up a few steps, take a shower, carry on a conversation, or merely walk across the room without gasping for air. My body has been so ravaged by CF, but each day I continue to get stronger, and am so very grateful for each percent of lung function gained. I know those devastating days will come again, and I don't think I will ever be ready for them. I know how quickly everything can change again. But today I celebrate each victory: walking up the steps, singing a few lines, and any signs of winning this battle against CF. It's the most amazing gift: the gift of life.



The Perfect Gift

This gift I have been given is immeasurable. It is priceless. It is irreplaceable. It cannot be simply wrapped in a box, adorned with the most ornate bow. This most extraordinary gift is my life: made up of beautiful breaths, unconditional love, and endless gratitude.



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A New Year's Manifesto

4 Practical Steps (You Can Do in 12 Minutes) to Start Making Your 2015 Dreams a Reality

The four steps I'm going to show you now, while ridiculously simple, are actually the basis of something incredible: taking pure thought and bringing it into reality. Let's get started.



1. First, set the timer on your smartphone for three minutes and write down all the things you'd love to be accomplishing right now -- but aren't. Remember, I didn't say "think" about those things, I said write them down. Write without pausing, write without judgment. Write without stopping to consider what's real, what's practical, what's doable, what's acceptable. Do this without even pausing to think if your dreams are moral or legal. (There will be time for those considerations later) Just write. And If you've been successful in writing without any intrusions from your conscious mind you will have a fairly long list within the three minutes. The time limit is important. It keeps you from overthinking -- when overthinking is inappropriate. Set your timers. Go!



2. Next, take another three minutes to select the three items from your list that look the most interesting to you. As an example, let's say they were:



• Learn to fly a plane

• Take a trip to the Galápagos Islands

• Go to a concert of classical music



3. Now give yourself three minutes to consider just one tangible step you can take to move each of your three selections into reality. For example:



• For learning to fly a plane -- you could Google the nearest flight school for times and prices.

• For your trip to the Galápagos -- you could go online and look up Galápagos tour options.

• For your symphony experience -- you could look up concert times at a performance hall in your area.



4. Finally, give yourself three more minutes to pick one of the three choices from your list and actually implement the small action you've considered above. That's it.



Child's play I know, but think about how far you've already come in just 12 minutes. You've moved from some nebulous notion about wanting to take action on an as yet unspecified dream to actually undertaking its first practical steps.



I leave you with this: The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex, overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one. -- Mark Twain



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Dare to Be 100: Spock/Bortz Symmetry

Maybe 10 years ago the phone rang, "Dr. Bortz, my name is Mary McCarthy and I am a friend of Dr. Peter Wood. I have recently moved here and so am anxious to find a good doctor. Peter, knowing that you have practiced here in Palo Alto for a long while, suggested your name as a likely referral source.



All doctors receive such asks, minor nuisances.



But Peter Wood was a very close friend and colleague. He is famous for his discovery that exercise leads to elevated levels of the good cholesterol. His license plate was "HIGH HDL." So with little fuss I volunteered the names of three primary care docs from my clinic.



A week later the phone rang again, "Dr. Bortz, I called those names that you provided and they each said that they would accept me as a patient if you would call personally in my behalf." Such a reaction, while understandable, was nettlesome. I'm sure that some aggravation must have reflected in my voice.



"Okay, Mrs. McCarthy, tell me a little about yourself."

"Well, I am a doctor's widow. My husband was a pediatrician in New York."

"What was his name?"

"Spock."

"BENJAMIN SPOCK?'

"Why, yes. Benjamin Spock was my husband."

"Mrs. Spock, why didn't you tell me that right off? Any doctor would be very proud to care for his widow. Your husband was huge in our family's life. He was a third parent to our four kids. We loved his stuff." (His book, Baby and Child Care sold 50 million copies, second only to the Bible in overall sales.)

"Dr. Bortz, that is very sweet and generous of you. But, I want to tell you that your writing helped him to grow old." (He died in 1998 at age 95.)



Such a miniature anecdote was immediately precious to me. To think that I helped Dr. Spock to grow old was an affirmation of the Golden Rule. In myriad, usually unseen, ways we all are interdependent. Dr. Spock and Dr. Bortz bonded.



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Counting Steps and Staying Sane in the Suburbs

Image via Morguefile.com: http://mrg.bz/wITOmJ



You might have received a Fitbit or similar item as a holiday gift this year. And you might be thinking that you'll use your fitness tracker to monitor your exercise -- which is logical, since that's what fitness trackers were made for.



But I've learned to use my Fitbit a bit differently.



On your Fitbit app you can add your friends who also have Fitbits to monitor their steps. Mostly I've just used the "taunt" feature, which is like a Facebook "poke" but with a better name.



I only have one friend who regularly uses a Fitbit, Ariane. After I added Ariane to my Fitbit friends, I peeked at her average. Ariane averaged 12,000 steps per day.



I felt demoralized. I didn't even know how to get the baseline 10,000 steps that Fitbit suggests you start at. All I do is parent toddlers and clean my house and sit at my desk all day working -- just like Ariane. What was she doing that I wasn't?



I asked her.



"I pace," she said.



The next day, she texted me: Pace pace pace. I ignored the text. I couldn't imagine anything more ridiculous than pacing around the house to collect steps on my Fitbit.



One Saturday, she came over to my house with her 2-year-old daughter. We turned her daughter and my two young sons loose in my large, fenced-in yard. The three of them tore around like skinny-limbed hobbits-goblins. Ariane and I call this "co-parenting."



"They should make Kidbits," Ariane said. "Just to make adults feel terrible."



Late in the afternoon, Ariane and I tapped our Fitbit bracelets to check the status of our lighted dots. Fitbit gives you one dot for every 2,000 steps. Ariane had five dots already, done for the day. I only had two.



I was pissed. Ariane and I lived parallel lives, yet here she was with her smug little dot collection.



"You pace?" I said to her. "Fine. I'll pace."



I started pacing in swift, angry circles around my driveway. The kids rode around on scooters and big wheels and bikes with half-pumped tires because we broke our bike pump.



A little over a year ago, my family moved to this suburban house from a small urban area where I used to walk everywhere. Before we moved, I used to push my kid's stroller to preschool and then walk to a cafe or library to work. I walked a lot, but I walked with a purpose.



Now here I was, living in a home in a neighborhood with cul-de-sacs and no sidewalks, which studies show is likely bad for my health. Ariane was right to be worried: I'd become a car-and-homebound hausfrau. The ironic thing was, I work full time. But the not-walking was deadening not just my body, but my brain as well. And it was this brain-deadening that was worrying me.



Before I moved to the suburbs, I never realized how much I relied on my morning walk into town to settle my mind after the bustle of preschool drop-off. I'd place my toddler in the caretakers' capable hands, then stroll downtown past repurposed warehouses and buses to one of many coffee shops I called my c'office.



Then I quickly had my second kid, and we moved to the land of cul-de-sacs. By moving here I'd traded friends -- quirky neighbors and cafe regulars -- for more heated square feet and a big yard. I'd also traded my daily walks around town. Sure our former house had been small, and our commutes had been long. Right then, pacing in circles with Ariane while the kids flung themselves out of trees and off of scooters, that trade felt like a devil's bargain.



While I paced, grim-faced, Ariane trotted along next to me. She said, "Why are you so angry?"



"Because I have to pace in circles around my driveway." Realizing Ariane was right was hard for me to deal with.



Ariane's kid called for her help. She wanted to ride my 5-year-old's bike that doesn't have training wheels. I kept pacing by myself and wondered how others would see me if I were out here alone, pacing and pacing and pacing.



Increased "psychomotor agitation" -- most notably, pacing -- is a symptom of a manic episode, for example, and of a lot of other apparently unhealthy things. I know about psychiatric disability. I know a little something about what it looks like for a woman to pace in what appears to be meaningless circles around her suburban driveway.



To someone who doesn't know what I'm doing, I might as well be pacing around a room in the attic ripping yellow wallpaper off the walls. To an external observer, would there be any difference?



I paced with Ariane until I hit 9,000 steps -- a high for me then -- and called off the campaign. Annoyed and tired, I opened the lid of a giant Costco bucket of animal crackers, put it down on the driveway, and called the three kids over. I figured I'd go whole hog on the crazy mom thing.



The kids danced around the bucket like it were a maypole, cramming the crackers into their mouths.



After that Saturday, I kept up the pacing for a week. Long enough that I noticed that the pacing started working.



And it really started working. Not only was I getting 10-to-12,000 steps per day, which was so satisfying --



(If you've never worn a Fitbit bracelet then you cannot know what I'm about to tell you. There is nothing more satisfying, in Pavlovian sense, than that bracelet vibrating on your wrist to let you know you've hit your 10,000 steps. After experiencing that vibration, you can no longer imagine a better place to have something vibrate.)



-- but it was also incredibly freeing. Although I was still home-bound, I was no longer desk-bound. I'd created a world inside a world, and inside the world I'd created, I paced.



I immediately started feeling better in my head. Sitting at my desk feeling my shoulders tense up, feeling a migraine coming on, losing focus, or feeling agitated -- pick your symptom from your criteria list of choice -- I'd just get up and pace in circles around my house and I'd feel better.



Sometimes while I'm working now, I look at my wrist and realize I don't have enough dots for that time of day. So I get up and pace. When the phone rings, I pace while I talk. I'll get 2,000 steps in the course of an ordinary work call. And no one but me knows what I'm doing.



Except Ariane. She always knows.



We're talking about a book we're writing. "What are you doing?" she asks.



"Pacing," I say.



"Me too," she says.



Then we plan the next chapter, our creativity benefiting, so the research goes, by the act of walking itself.



Then it was a Thursday. The day I go see my psychiatrist. At this point I'd been pacing for nineteen days.



Usually when I arrive at my psychiatrist's clinic, I have to wait a few minutes. I tend to get to her office early, and she tends to run behind. But now that I pace I don't mind waiting. Pacing has given me a new patience -- it's an activity to do, yes. But it is also, as some doctors say, a form of "muscular meditation."



That Thursday I paced the long clinic hallway, flipping pages on my e-reader with one finger, meditating with my feet. When it came time for my appointment, my psychiatrist's nurse came out to get me. She saw me pacing by and said, with surprise, "Oh! Are you going somewhere?"



"No," I said brightly, "I'm just pacing."



She rounded her mouth into an O and backed into the office suite, then waved me into the doctor's office. I was laughing when I landed in the overstuffed chair.



"What's funny?" my doctor asked.



I told her that I'd punked her nurse a little bit. "I told her I was pacing." I pointed at my Fitbit, explaining my pacing epiphany. I said, "But when I told your nurse I was pacing, it was funny. You know, because pacing is also symptomatic."



My doctor -- who actually has a great sense of humor -- did not smile. "Yes. I know." Then she told me she thought I was having a manic episode.



I got annoyed at that. "Well if I don't pace, then I go a crazy. I've been going crazy in my new house for a year. But you're saying that if I do pace, then I am a little crazy." I leaned forward in the overstuffed chair. "So which is it?"



And then I said something about "The Yellow Wallpaper."



My psychiatrist said she'd never heard of "The Yellow Wallpaper." So I sent her the Project Gutenberg link to the story.



If you're reading this, and you're a specialist in women's mental health, you need to read "The Yellow Wallpaper." You need to know if you lock a woman in a room, or in a house on a cul-de-sac, and tell her to stop thinking or to stop moving, things get dark really fast.



A woman needs to have a way forward, even if the way forward is only a well-worn path on her floor and a blinking bracelet.



Pacing is the new exercise of the suburban housewife. Pacing is the new mother's helper. Pacing is the insanity that keeps the insanity away. And I'm okay with that.



I talked to Ariane about pacing again the other night after I texted her a screencap of my Fitbit stats. I'd hit 12,000 steps around 7 p.m., a new record for me. We talked (while pacing, of course) about the David Sedaris Fitbit story, about his 60,000 steps a day and his fear that his feet might snap off at the ankles.



I said, "What keeps us on this side of that kind of obsession?"



Ariane said, "What we're doing makes our lives better, not worse."



I believe her.



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Forget the Resolutions: Set Your New Year's Intentions!

Rather than create New Year's resolutions, which often come from a place of lack and frustration, try setting New Year's intentions. It's simple, easy and refreshing! Here's how...



An intention is a choice.







Take a few minutes and sit in a quiet, calm place to access clarity. Let your thoughts go, focus on your breath and imagine light all around you. Then consider what you'd like your life to be like this coming year.



Beyond material things, what kinds of experiences do you want to have?



How do you want to be?

Who do you want to be?







Allow what comes to extend beyond desires of the physical body, and into new ways of being -- mentally, emotionally, energetically...



What do you choose to experience in the new year?







As you reflect on this year's intentions, create a list of who and how you want to be.



Down the road when you are invited to participate in an event or activity pause and check in, does this reflect and support the new you?



You might even create a few lines of a mantra or a invocation to repeat to yourself. This can be memorized and repeated anytime, all the time.



For example:



I choose to live life in alignment for my best good, and by being my best I support everyone around me.

I choose to experience love and joy in all that I do.

I choose to live in abundance, always having all that I need.

I choose to be surrounded by health and wellness.

Thank You.







As we let 2014 pass behind us, take a moment to have gratitude for all that you have experienced in the past year. Smile. Then have gratitude for all that is coming.



See this next year as an opportunity to show up as an even more empowered version of yourself.



Remember, as one individual takes steps, the collective takes steps. The greatest thing you can do is be a source of awareness and change within yourself, and as you do, others are given permission to do the same.



As you grow your world will rise to meet you.



So what are you intending?







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F You, 2015

As 2014 draws to a close and the fresh slate of 2015 presents itself, I can't help but make a list of resolutions. Whatever your thoughts are on the age-old tradition, isn't it kind of nice to make a list and check things off? While 2014 held some amazing things (hello, marriage!), I know that 2015 will not disappoint.




We're done looking back, onward to 2015!




I always find myself feeling refreshed and revitalized by setting and accomplishing goals, so let's get right down to it!



The Five Fs of 2015



1. Fit

The short answer of this is to keep up with my fitness regimen, after all, I do have a lofty fitness goal slated for April. The longer answer would be to find time to "fit" things into my schedule that in 2014 I might have answered with "But, I'm SO busy..." The reality is that we are all busy. Fit in the things that matter.



2. Food

Good food, to be more specific. Make more of it and eat more of it. I have big plans for crafting healthy and nutritious meals at least three times per week that taste great and keep me full. I have a bad habit of snacking all day long and usually in a "What is the closest edible thing I can get my hands on" type of way. I want to plan on better eating and healthier snacking without overwhelming myself to a point of giving up.



3. Fur

An animal lover through and through, I want to help more dogs in need in 2015. At the end of 2014, I had the amazing opportunity to step into a needy dog's life and it changed my own life in ways I never expected. For the first time in a very long while, I felt accomplished and my heart was full. Sometimes giving all you can give is the most fulfilling feeling of all -- and I want more of that!



4. Focus

Finding focus can sometimes be a struggle for me. If you haven't noticed, I have a lot of things I want to do going on all at once. In 2015, I vow to take each individual task and work hard to complete it before jumping into the next thing. Do I vow to take on less? Absolutely not.



5. Fun(damentals)

I want to have fun in 2015! For so much of 2014 I was feeling stressed out and that was the opposite of fun. More importantly, I want to get back to the fundamentals -- writing, reading and connecting. For as much time as I spend working within the confines of my computer and cell phone, I want to get back to handwritten note cards, reading hardcovers books from the library and making genuine connections with people by having conversations without the use of any electronic devices.



As you ring in the new year, I'd love to know what goals you're setting for yourself? Connect with me on Twitter or Instagram and let's talk resolutions!



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Hollywood Happy

I've always been an emotional person. I can range from 1 to 50 and back again in the span of only minutes. Yes, I've gotten better at self-regulating my thoughts/feelings/emotions as I've gotten older, but I'm often still whizzing up and down at warp speed. And a lot of people still know what I'm thinking and feeling (I'd make a crappy poker player). That's fine. Thankfully I've gotten better about playing things close to the chest, but such swift and widespread variances in emotion still catch me by surprise.



This morning, like a lot of mornings, I found myself awake well before my alarm. Like, more than an hour before my alarm. Which is fine. Like I said, this isn't atypical. I'm used to it. I've fought insomnia a lot of my life. What does shock me is when I wake up crying. While always an emotional person, waking up crying is out of character. These circumstances typically fall after days where nothing goes right and nothing feels right. As I've been known to say to friends over any given amount of time, "I'm feeling all the feels." I'm fine with that, but only when it doesn't relate to me.



I don't know why I'm so averse to feeling big emotions for myself. This is something that most people celebrate. And I like to think that maybe feeling the feelings is a plus in the win column of life, but on the other hand I always feel under attack. Under attack from my own mind.



I've had several friends who've said things along the lines of, "happy is subjective." And I get that and agree. Completely. I'm not looking for some Hollywood-ized version of happy. After all, once you attain Hollywood happy you are then honor-bound to maintain it and, frankly, that sounds a hell of a lot more exhausting than being sad or in pain all the time because once you're happy you can't be not happy. And who really wants to spend that kind of time and energy being unhappily happy?



I am fine with being a little moody. I am fine with being a little sad. I'm fine with being a little happy. What I'd like is, for those days when I'm more than just a little sad, to feel not so sad. To not feel so maniacally happy when I'm happy. To not feel like the world is crashing down around me when something goes awry. And yes, sometimes my world may be crashing down around me. It's times like these that panic, mania and sadness may be warranted. That's life. But to feel so... bereft. So adrift. I want to not have to worry. I want to not have to feel. But I do want to feel. I have so much to feel that's good.



My friends are right. Happy is subjective, but I'm having a tough time figuring out what my happy is. I know there are things I enjoy, but I don't know that when I'm enjoying them I'm necessarily "happy." Spending time with friends? Sure, I enjoy that. They're good for me. On so many levels. But am I truly "happy" when I'm with them?



Over-caffeinated? Sure. Over chocolate-d (yes, I made that word up)? Probably. Smiling and laughing? Why not. But there's this false understanding in today's world that all those things are unequivocally and wholly happy. But they aren't necessarily. Are they?



I feel like I'm only half living life. There are the things that I enjoy, but ultimately I'm so upset on the inside that it puts a pall over the whole affair. And -- mostly -- why can't I stop thinking about the bad things when I'm doing good things? Why, this week, when I'm chatting with friends, why can't I be not sad? Why can't I be good when I'm talking with/texting with/whatevering with the people that seemingly get me most? This shit is infuriating as well as saddening. And I guess I would rather that than sad. But it all just fucking sucks.



---



Have a story about depression that you'd like to share? Email strongertogether@huffingtonpost.com , or give us a call at (860) 348-3376, and you can record your story in your own words. Please be sure to include your name and phone number.



Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.



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Forget Resolutions: Here Are 3 Ways to Enter the New Year Empowered

Forget New Year's resolutions! Here are three must dos to launch yourself into the new year with a sparkle!



"And now we welcome the new year, full of things that have never been." -- Rainer Maria Rilke



As my southern grandpa used to say, "weeee doggy", this year is almost gone, but you don't need me to remind you of that.



I'm here to tell you to hold off on those New Year's resolutions and instead, take a moment to backtrack in three ways!



But first, let me back myself up a bit.



What's been hanging over your head lately? For me, two things: a payment to my accountant, and another for my car registration.



Over the last few weeks, I couldn't think of two more un-satisfying ways to spend money, so I dragged my feet, and then I dragged them some more.



Every morning I would awake and think to myself: Okay, today I'll drop off that payment and take care of my car, but day after day I'd let them drop to tomorrow's to do list.



Then morning after morning, I'd wake with that heavy feeling of I'd better drop off that payment and take care of my car today.



When I finally accomplished both, the relief was A M A Z I N G.



So my very first suggestion for you to take before the clock strikes 2015 is to take care of that one thing you've been putting off for a while now.



Perhaps it's a phone call, an apology, a bill, a closet, or an errand.



It doesn't matter how small it actually is, because the bottom line is this: It's been hanging over your head and draining your psyche.



"Procrastination is a lot like a credit card: It's a lot of fun until you get the bill" --Christopher Parker



Next pick a drawer, glove compartment, purse or shelf that's been driving you nuts with disarray, then clean it out and put it back into order. POOF! More stress relief.



When we do the things we've been putting off, we free up our head space. What better way to start the new year than with a clear head?



Finally, take a moment to look back and reflect on what you've accomplished and done well this year, because over 365 days, you've accomplished a lot and have grown tremendously.



Have gratitude because regardless of who you are or what you do, you've grown and have accomplished a lot.



Think of it like this: When you're pulling out of an old spot you've been parked in, you've got to look in your rearview mirror before you back up right?



We've got to look back before we can look forward, and when we clean up our messes, tie up our loose ends and have gratitude for ourselves and our past- we can FLY into the new year with grace.



Now one more thing -- I wish for you a happy, healthy, abundant, love filled 2015.



Post via Tamara Star for the Elephant Journal



Photo credit: carbonated via photopin cc



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Here's How Bendy Your Body Actually Gets During Yoga Class

It's no secret that yoga does a body good, but have you ever wondered what your bones look like as you're moving through your sun salutations?



Hybrid Medical Animation, a medical and science 3D animation studio, put together a video to show a realistic X-ray representation of what the human skeleton looks like while doing yoga poses like Crow and Tree.



"We wanted to combine the beautiful moves of yoga with this new visual approach to bring the full human skeleton to life," the blurb below the video reads.



Ready to hit the yoga studio?



H/T Refinery29



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4 Ways to Keep to Your New Year's Resolutions

When we create resolutions, the intentions to do, act, or be differently, we often become very hard on ourselves. Every time we act in the old way, we berate ourselves. "Now that I am trying to change, I don't like who I am." "I am a horrible person because I can't stop doing this." "The way I have been for years is bad, nasty, and terrible." These thoughts are natural, but not helpful.



When we finally realize and begin moving toward our best person, we are often ashamed of who and how we have been. But that shame does not propel us forward. Shame is a tool which keeps us stuck. Shame makes us a victim and an awful person. As Brené Brown says, "Shame, for women, is this web of unobtainable, conflicting, competing expectations about who we're supposed to be. And it's a straightjacket." I agree with Brené, and I don't think shame only holds back women. Shame is a great excuse for not moving forward. Shame tells us our goals are impossible and we should just give up. Shame takes away our power, dignity, and desire to become better.



The alternative to shame is acceptance. When we can accept who we and who we have been, we have the power to make changes. Acceptance does not necessarily mean forgiveness of what we have done, but acceptance means we acknowledge the truth of our actions. Shame keeps us from the truth as it makes us focus on an illusion of what we think we should be or should have done. We can not change illusions. We can only change the truth. By accepting the truth of who we are and who we have been, we are now empowered to make the changes we desire for the future.



There are four very simple ways to begin accepting who you are so you can move into who you want to be.



See the Truth

The first step is to look past the illusion and honestly see the truth. When I work with individuals who are trying to lose weight, the first step is for them to truly see and accept where they are. Yes, they may have 20 more pounds than they would like, but that is the truth of the situation. If they constantly think they should be different than they really are, no changes can be made. We must first accept where we are before we can make changes.



Stop Labeling

We are often our worst critics. We will tell ourselves how bad, wrong, or horrible we are. This is also not seeing the truth. When we belittle ourselves we are judging ourselves based on our perception of right and wrong. Judging also makes us stuck. We feel a powerless victim to the label. Instead, reframe your actions as being simply "helpful" or "unhelpful." This frees you to make changes as you are not creating lasting negative labels.



Love Your Shadow

We all have positive and negative aspects of ourselves. Sometimes a positive, like having a Type A personality, can become a negative when it is out of control. See yourself as a whole person with shadow and light. One cannot exist without the other. Know your shadow and work to manage it instead of sentencing yourself to unhappiness because you have a shadow.



Celebrate Your Progress

Take a moment and see where you started. Yes, you may not be where you want to be, but how far have you come? Celebrate what you have already accomplished and be grateful for your progress knowing that there is more and better to come.



This new year make your resolutions a reality by accepting the truth of where you are, stopping negative labeling, loving yourself warts and all, and celebrating your progress. In doing so, you will have more power to make your resolutions a reality and will enjoy, instead of dread, the journey. Wishing you all the best in the new year!



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5 Ways to Reclaim Your Awesomeness

You experienced a loss or a hurdle in your path and cannot seem to move beyond it. You find yourself going back to it in one way or another. That loss of your job, dissolved marriage, unattained promotion, or other hurdle seems to have a hold on you, so how do you forgive and move forward?



You start by reclaiming your awesomeness. Here, you will find five ways to help you reclaim your awesomeness. They will help you move beyond any hurdle or loss you have experienced or may experience, and even help prevent some.



Forgive



Forgiving what happened and everyone involved is most important in being able to reclaim your awesomeness and move forward. It helps you to get closure or make peace with what happened, and it also helps transform any feelings or thoughts of being powerless to empowerment. It helps you instantly feel empowered as you choose to no longer allow what happened to negatively affect you, and if something was done or said maliciously it helps to keep you from personalizing it and from allowing it to minimize your awesomeness.



Learn from what happened



There is always something to be learned about yourself from a loss or a hurdle; something such as needing to have more fun after you experience the death of a loved one, or you did not really want the promotion like you thought you did, but instead want to do something more rewarding, or you gave too much in your marriage and did not receive the same in return, which is why you did not feel happy towards the end. You usually see something that is lacking or that is not benefiting you and should be changed. Get to know what that is and make necessary adjustments, so you are able to benefit the most you can from what happened and can add to your awesomeness.



Listen to yourself



At times, the reason you find yourself not being able to move forward is because you are upset with yourself. Usually because at one point you allowed someone else's voice to become louder than yours. You prioritized what they thought, said or felt, and ignored your own intuition. You can reclaim your awesomeness by choosing to listen to yourself from this moment forward and trusting what you have to say. If your inner voice is telling you one thing, but someone else is telling you the opposite, listen to yourself. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. This will help you move forward easier, especially in any situation where you were used, manipulated or abused in any way, and help prevent it from happening in the future.



Set boundaries



Learn to say "no" and to put yourself first. Get to know what your needs, wants, likes, dislikes, values, and passions are, and prioritize yourself around them. If you are tired and do not have the energy to listen to a friend talk about her problems, put yourself first and let them know you are not available. If working on a project at work goes against who you are, say so. Doing things for you and with you in mind will help you feel important, cared for, and empowered, and it will also help you maintain your awesomeness in many ways. Helping in one way so you do not loose yourself or allow someone to hurt you by giving others more importance than yourself.



Overcome fear



Moving forward after experiencing a loss or a hurdle can be very scary. Instead of allowing fear to hold you back, reclaim your awesomeness and face it. Give yourself permission to move forward and to be happy. Be bold and do whatever you can to overcome any fears that show up... believe in yourself. Once you take the initial leap over your fear, you will be able to face others that show up with more confidence, courage and strength because you have fully reclaimed your awesomeness.



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When Hope IS a Strategy

When I woke up today, I picked up my gratitude journal and thought... what exactly do I feel grateful for? Honestly, I didn't feel great, or positive, or happy. And despite the hard work I've done and courageous decisions I've made to build my life on my terms, it wasn't there this morning. So I did a "truth check" and asked myself what, then, are you feeling? Is there gratitude, and if so for what? No sugar coating, no trying to be positive if it's not really what's going on.



What came to the surface was this. I am grateful that I haven't given up. Despite all the loss of the last few years, the seemingly endless string of mountains to climb, and boatloads of doubt and uncertainty. I have not given up. Faith and hope are still alive, and so am I. That was enough for me today.



A former business colleague of mine is famous for saying to her team, "Hope is not a strategy," and in the business world, a world led by action and logic, that sure makes a lot of sense. One cannot sit back, do nothing, and simply hope things will improve. By this path, they surely will not.



But I say hope and faith together (especially with a dusting of courage) ARE a strategy. And here's why. At the heart of faith is certainty. It is a deep seated truth we feel in our hearts despite having no logical or evidential reasons why it is or should be true. A friend recently sent me a note in which she had chosen two angels for me, faith and humor. Faith was described as "the unshakable knowing of the heart when nothing makes sense to the mind." Perfect.



It is that feeling that you are making the right decision, taking the right steps, or even choosing NOT to make a decision and standing still until the time is right, both of which take tremendous courage. It is letting yourself sink into the comfort of knowing you are in the right place, on the right path, exactly where and as you should be despite the world or others telling you otherwise. It is believing that in time all the pieces will come together, that the people you need will cross your path at the right time to bring you to a destination that could only be reached by taking these thoughtful, patient steps.



Whether you are a leading your own life, or leading others, you must have faith, or intuition, or the ability to tap into that which does not yet exist. Intuition and faith provide the vision that guides us into the unknown, and the ambiguous, with courage. Without intuition or faith, any strategy can only see what is, or as far as reports and data can inform what to safely and predictably do next. The best leaders in life, and in business, use feeling, intuition, hope and yes, even heart -- to take bold steps.



So you see, faith and hope really are a strategy. They are actions of courage against the inaction of despair and doubt, they are acts of inner strength against the hopelessness of sitting idle, they are expansive against the contracting grip of fear. And sometimes they are all you have. When hope and faith are what stand between you and giving up, and give you the support to keep going, that is one strong barricade, and that's enough of a strategy for today, and the coming year. Happy New Year!



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15 Ways to Make 2015 Your Most Successful Year Yet

Another year has come to a close. Everyone is excited for the opportunity to start fresh and find ways to improve themselves in the upcoming year. Here are the top 15 ways you can ensure you set yourself up for your most successful year yet in 2015.



1. Ditch your resolutions and make SMART goals instead. Instead of saying what you do or don't plan to do in 2015, make something concrete. SMART goals are something that is Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-bound. Actually put these goals in writing and you will be much more likely to achieve them. Better yet -- put them in writing and then make an action plan on small milestones you plan to achieve to be successful in the overall goal. Put them somewhere you can see them each day so they stay top of mind, one at home and one at the office.



2. Create a networking strategy. If you are looking for an opportunity, in reality you are looking for a person. Opportunities are tied to people. Once you determine your goals for the year, take time to think of specific people that can help you achieve each goal. Reach out to them to set a meeting and find ways to create a win-win relationship. Networking isn't just about handing out business cards, it is about building meaningful relationships that help both individuals become more successful!



3. Show more gratitude every day. One way that you can reduce stress and live a happier life is to take time every day to be thankful. Keep a gratitude journal that each morning or night you write at least one thing you are thankful for that day. It will help you focus on the positive things even when times are tough!



4. Get healthy. "Healthy" can mean a lot of different things to different people. Healthy is a lifestyle. Being physically fit has many positive performance benefits including increased productivity, improved mood, higher confidence and self-esteem, boosted energy and better sleep. Take small steps to gradually live a healthier life style -- plan meals, get a personal trainer, commit to a gym schedule -- whatever makes sense for you. Before you know it you will see the benefits of eating healthier and staying physically active!



5. Read more. In a recent Pew Research Center study it was reported that nearly a quarter of American adults had not read a single book in the past year. The number of non-book readers has nearly tripled since 1978. On the flip side, according to Nielsen statistics, the average American watches over 34 hours live TV a week plus another 3-6 hours watching taped programs. In 2015, make a commitment to read more and watch TV less. Your bank account with thank you!



6. Create a professional development plan. With the start of a new year, everyone says there are things they want to do to improve in certain areas. But, hardly any make a written plan. Take time to actually write out the action steps you will need to take to reach your goals and milestones to make sure you stay on track. How will you measure your success? Look at the larger picture -- what are your 3, 5, 10 and lifetime goals? Map out the steps you need to take this year to get yourself headed in the right direction to meet your longer term goals.



7. Learn a new skill. Try something new! Look at what programs your local technical college has to offer. There are so many interesting things to do in the world -- why stop learning once you are done with school? This will help you meet new people and open you up to new experiences and opportunities. Never stop learning.



8. Create a personal mission and vision statement. One of the biggest roadblocks people face in meeting their goals is that they don't have a clear vision of what they are trying to achieve. A vision statement defines your optimal desired future state and helps provide guidance and inspiration on what you are focused on achieving. A mission statement defines your current purpose and answers the questions what you do, who you do it for and how you do it. By creating a vision and mission statement you will clarify where you currently are and what it is you are looking to achieve in your life. This will make it easier to define the steps you need to get there.



9. Challenge yourself. It is easy to get into a routine. Get up, go to work, make dinner, go to bed. But the exciting things in life happen when you take risks and challenge yourself. Find ways as often as possible to stretch your limits. Do something difficult and if you fail, don't worry about it. More learning happens when you fail than when you succeed. Always be searching for your next adventure!



10. Plan a trip. Speaking of adventures, plan a trip for this year. It doesn't have to be something that breaks the bank. Find a creative way to visit a new place. Take lots of pictures and enjoy every minute. The greatest things in life are experiences, not material possessions. People often say they want to see a new place, but never actually take the steps to make it happen. Pick a date and get your 2015 trip on the calendar today.



11. Create a budget. It's no secret that money can be a huge stressor, both personally and in a relationship. A budget is an invaluable took to help you prioritize your spending and manage your money. You can use a simple spreadsheet or check out free online programs like Mint.com or PersonalCapital.com. Make a commitment to be more responsible about your spending and saving to set yourself up for success now and in the long term.



12. Commit to your relationship. Whether you are in a new relationship or have been with someone many years, having a strong relationship takes work. Find ways to make your partner smile, put their needs before yours and show affection as much as possible. The grass isn't greener on the other side, it is greener where you water it -- so make sure you are giving your relationship the attention it deserves and you will see great results!



13. Invest in yourself. There is no investment that will give better returns that investing in yourself. When you have a little financial skin in the game you are much more likely to seriously commit to something. What can you invest in to move you closer to reaching your goals this year? Look into hiring a life coach or executive coach, buy that new piece of software for your computer, get that new treadmill for your gym -- once you start putting your hard earned money towards achieving something you will be compelled to have a stronger commitment to succeed.



14. Create a morning routine. This is an area I personally will be working on in 2015 (along with many of the other things). As a self-proclaimed non-morning person, I know I needed a change. If you read or watched interviews from almost any ultra-successful people you will notice they all have structured morning routines. They vary from person to person, but the concept is the same. The have a routine they do to start their day each morning to set themselves up for success. It can include meditation, exercise, eating healthy, reviewing goals and much more -- whatever makes sense for you. Instead of hitting snooze in 2015, wake up and complete a morning routine that gets your mind and body ready for a great day.



15. Get an accountability partner. Lastly, find an accountability partner to share your goals and action plans with for 2015. This person should help motivate and inspire you, tell you when you are doing well and give you a kick in the butt when you need it. Your partner can be a spouse, friend or business partner, just make sure it is someone who will be sure to help keep you on track!



Wishing you a happy, prosperous and successful new year! Happy 2015!



I'd love to hear from you. Shoot me an email at Jenna@JennaAtkinsonConsulting.com to let me know what some of your goals for 2015 are and what action steps you plan to take to achieve them. What are some of the biggest hurdles you are going to face? Like my facebook page to get ongoing motivation and inspiration to make 2015 your most successful year yet!



About Jenna: Jenna is the President of Jenna Atkinson Consulting, a firm that specializes in creating actionable strategies for organizations to develop and engage their emerging leaders. She was recognized as one of InBusiness magazine's 40 Under 40 in 2014. She speaks, trains and consults with a wide range of organizations to help their employees reach the next level of success. For more tips on success, check out JennaAtkinsonConsulting.com.



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Forget Willpower -- Here's How to Make Your New Year's Resolution a Success

We had a RIDICULOUS amount of chocolate in the house over the holidays, and it was fast becoming a major food group for me. It didn't seem to matter how much I told myself not to eat it, that I was going to regret it later and tried to resist it, I couldn't stop eating it.



My willpower sucks.



And so does yours.



Everyone's does, and science shows it. Researchers have found that willpower is a lot like a muscle: It gets tired out and exhausted with repeated use. The more we use it, the less of it we have! [1]



Instead of using willpower for your New Year's resolution this year, there's another strategy that makes it much easier. In fact, it almost makes it automatic.



We're highly influenced by our environments. They subconsciously dictate how and where we move, in addition to how and what we eat -- and we're completely unaware of most of it. Environments full of food engineered to appeal to our primal taste buds and an endless array of labor saving devices quickly exhaust our willpower to eat less and move more.



So here's what I did to stop eating so much freakin' chocolate: I created an optimal default that set me up to not have to use willpower in the first place. I moved it all into the baking cupboard where I couldn't see and it where I never look. It has DRASTICALLY reduced how much chocolate I've eaten.



An optimal default is a small tweak to your environment that helps make behavior change automatic.




For example, research has shown that when we switch from a 12-inch dinner plate to a 10-inch one, we will eat 22 percent less food without being aware of it. [2] Use willpower to put or eat less food from a big plate, and we'll eventually succumb and eat more. But put less food on a smaller plate, and it tricks our brains into automatically eating less.



Here are a few more examples of optimal defaults:

• Drink from a taller, thinner glass. We will unknowingly pour more liquid into a short, wide glass -- up to 30 percent more. [3]


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• When having a meal, plate it out first then keep all serving bowls in one place while you eat in another. If you decide you want to stand up, walk over, and get a little more food, you'll know it's because you're truly not sated.


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• On the phone = on your feet. Whenever the phone rings it's your signal to get up and pace while talking.


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• Set your phone or computer with a reminder to get up and move several times during the day.


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• Shop from the perimeter of the grocery store to avoid processed foods.


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• Keep a stash of healthy snacks like nuts, nutrition bars, or whole grain crackers in the car, your briefcase or purse.


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• Turn off your TV. You'll be more active and skip all the commercials for fast and junk food.


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• Join a social group centered around exercise.

Microclimates full of optimal defaults make a desired behavior automatic. We suddenly find ourselves moving more, eating less, and reaping the benefits -- without thinking about it. We experience fewer negative side effects from stress, we've got better energy, we're more focused and productive, and we're happier.



References:



[1] McGonigal, Kelly. (2012) The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why it Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It. London: Penguin Group.



[2] Harvard Medical School. Healthbeat Newsletter. Controlling What - and How Much - We Eat. November 8, 2011.



[3] Wansink, B. Mindless Eating. 2006. Bantam Books.



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Why You Can't Understand Obama Until You Understand Hawaii

The Washington Post recently ruffled feathers in Hawaii for what some perceived as a mocking and condescending tone regarding the Aloha State's hopes for a beachfront presidential library.



In a Dec. 12 blog post, WaPo's Jaime Fuller summarized the proposed designs for President Barack Obama's library, which the University of Hawaii is vying with three other schools to host. Fuller wrote of Hawaii's efforts: "They want to make sure you know that they want to build the first ever presidential library on the BEACH."



In response, Kam Napier wrote at Pacific Business News: "It's hard to stomach the condescension on display in snark like Fuller's when we know firsthand the talent, intelligence, ambition and commitment of Hawaii people who try to make things like the Barack Obama Presidential Center happen."



Competing against two Chicago schools as well as New York's Columbia University, UH is considered the underdog to host the Obama library. But with the president and his family currently spending their seventh straight holiday vacation in the islands, it's hard to deny the president's emotional ties to the state where he was born and where he spent most of his childhood and adolescence. As Michelle Obama once said, "You can't really understand Barack until you understand Hawaii."



Here are three things about the president's boyhood home that give every appearance of having helped him become the man he is now.



Hawaii is a melting pot.





Obama in 1979 during his high school graduation in Hawaii with his maternal grandparents, Stanley Armour Dunham and Madelyn Payne, both natives of Kansas.




There is no ethnic majority in Hawaii. Instead, you'll find a melting pot of diversity, including people of Filipino, Native Hawaiian, Japanese, Samoan and European descent. Hawaii has the highest percentage of multiracial Americans and the lowest percentage of white Americans of any state in the country.



As a multiracial child himself, Obama found comfort growing up amid Hawaii's diversity. "No place else," he told a Honolulu audience in 2004, "could have provided me with the environment, the climate, in which I could not only grow but also get a sense of being loved. There is no doubt that the residue of Hawaii will always stay with me, and that it is a part of my core, and that what's best in me, and what's best in my message, is consistent with the tradition of Hawaii."



Two decades after he graduated from Honolulu's Punahou School, one of the most prestigious private schools in the state, Obama wrote in the school's magazine: "The opportunity that Hawaii offered -- to experience a variety of cultures in a climate of mutual respect -- became an integral part of my world view, and a basis for the values that I hold most dear."



The state operates on island time.





President Barack Obama waves a shaka to a crowd after buying 'shave ice' from Island Snow at Kailua Beach Center in Kailua, Hawaii, Dec. 31, 2013.




You know those long pauses in Obama's cadence? His slow and measured decision-making process? Some would argue it's all a result of growing up on island time. Life slows down in Hawaii -- the culture puts a high value on thoughtfulness and savoring the moment.



This is most noticeable in day-to-day interactions, when Hawaii locals take their time and "talk story" -- a local practice that emphasizes meaningful conversations, sharing stories and ideas, and simply spending more time with one another. When disagreements arise, Hawaii residents often use a process called "ho'oponopono," which relies on discussion and forgiveness to resolve conflicts.



Obama is known for his tendency to slow down when making big decisions, and for his preference for carefully considering and talking through all sides of an issue -- habits that are familiar to many in the Aloha State.



The aloha spirit is real.





Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) throws a lei at the point where he scattered his mother's ashes in Honolulu, Thursday, Aug. 14, 2008.




It's been said of Obama -- not always favorably -- that he has a tendency to "lead from behind." In a 2011 blog post, The New Yorker's Ryan Lizza described that style as "the empowerment of other actors to do your bidding." Lizza quoted Nelson Mandela on this form of subtle power:

"I always remember the regent’s axiom: a leader, he said, is like a shepherd. He stays behind the flock, letting the most nimble go out ahead, whereupon the others follow, not realizing that all along they are being directed from behind."

One could just as easily call this style "leading with aloha." The aloha spirit is often characterized as a warm and fuzzy feeling of good will, but in the political sphere, it has real and practical implications.



According to Jerry Burris, a political reporter and co-author of The Dream Begins, a book about how Hawaii shaped Obama, politicians in Hawaii are supposed to be mild-mannered and humble.



"You go to a rally and the politician wants to hang in the back of the crowd," Burris told The Washington Post in a 2009 interview. "He doesn't think he should be the star of the show." (For an example of this, look no further than Hawaii Gov. David Ige [D], whose low-key inauguration speech earlier this month was a model of how Hawaii politicians are expected to act.)



The combative culture of Washington, D.C. may have rubbed off on Obama somewhat, but his most common mode is still one of calm, even passivity, as we memorably saw during the 2012 presidential debates. The past six years have seen plenty of periods of heightened emotion in America, but the president's reputation for coolheadedness remains intact.



"That's Hawaii," Neil Abercrombie, a former Democratic governor of Hawaii and an old friend of Obama's father, told The Washington Post in 2009. "You take negative energy and you process it through you and it comes out as positive energy."



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