Friday, August 1, 2014

4 Questions To Ask Yourself When You're Feeling Stuck

We all know that burnout is a dangerous landscape we don't want to find ourselves exploring. It leaves us stressed, drained and sometimes even physically ill. But before we even get to that point, there are warning signs that we often blow by like mile markers on a highway -- and one of them is the feeling of being totally stuck.



We work best when we're fulfilled, inspired and challenged, and when that drive disappears, burnout may not be too far off. If you're trapped in a rut, take charge now and ask yourself the following questions.



What makes me feel happy?

woman smiling



With so many self-help tips on how to reach a state of bliss, we often find ourselves focusing on the how more than the what when it comes to happiness. When you're in a rut, evaluate what makes you happiest. It could be as simple as taking your dog for a walk in the park or more in-depth, like volunteering with Habitat for Humanity. The point is, identifying what makes you most fulfilled can help you figure out how to move forward in pursuit of your best life. Research shows the happier we are at work, the more productive we actually are in the office.



Where do I want to go from here?

arrow



Or in other words, what's the next step you'd like to take? Once you determine what you want to do, write it down. Studies have found that jotting down your goals will make you more likely to achieve them. By turning what you want into something measurable and concrete, you'll feel more motivated to stick to it -- and as a result, you'll move forward.



What's the worst that can happen?

question



We're often guilty of limiting ourselves due to our fear of failure. But if not succeeding is the worst that can happen, author and HuffPost blogger Mike Liguori has some words of wisdom for you: Do it anyway. "Life has to bring us incredible amount of uncertainty in order for us to learn lessons," he wrote. "That's what makes us grow and become better people. Imagine if we knew everything that was going to happen to us when we tried something new or took a risk in life." In other words, it's time to make failure your friend.



Do I deserve what I'm trying to go after?

success



In short, the answer is yes. But if you don't feel like you deserve it, chances are you'll feel less motivated to actually go after what makes you happy. Research shows that self-acceptance, part of which is the belief that you are good enough, is crucial to happiness, but it's something we don't regularly practice.



As clinical psychologist Suzanne Lachmann, Psy.D., points out, it's important to identify what's making you feel this way in order to move past it. "Feeling undeserving creates resistance to positive change," she wrote in a recent Psychology Today blog. "Once you understand what makes you feel undeserving, it's a process, and a messy one at that to become more self-assured and view your future more positively. What actually happens as you work on forgiving yourself for the deep-rooted feelings that hold you back, is that you start to feel better, lighter, more relieved and more understood in your own experience."



This GPS Guide is part of a series of posts designed to bring you back to balance when you're feeling off course.



GPS Guides are our way of showing you what has relieved others' stress in the hopes that you will be able to identify solutions that work for you. We all have de-stressing "secret weapons" that we pull out in times of tension or anxiety, whether they be photos that relax us or make us smile, songs that bring us back to our heart, quotes or poems that create a feeling of harmony or meditative exercises that help us find a sense of silence and calm. We encourage you to visit our other GPS Guides here, and share with us your own personal tips for finding peace, balance and tranquility.




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Why Waiting -- For Anything -- Is So Hard

pacific standard

By Noah Davis



I was waiting on a street corner the other day for what felt like forever. In truth, it was no more than 10 minutes, but boy it sure seemed longer than that by quite a bit. I had just finished a four-mile run and was without my phone or anything to do. My heart was beating rather rapidly, which I would imagine didn’t help, either. Somehow a minute at 100 beats per minute feels slower than one at 60 bpm -- or at least that's what I told myself as I struggled with my growing impatience and then struggled to deal with the negative feelings I had toward myself because of my growing impatience. Was I really the type of person who couldn’t just chill for a handful of minutes without growing incomprehensibly bored?



Apparently, yes.



It’s a club to which, increasingly, most of humanity belongs. Spend enough time bouncing around social science on the Internet, and you’ll find study after study and article after article bemoaning our growing lack of attention span. One infographic reported that our attention spans have dropped from 12 minutes to five. (The rise of infographics being yet another example of humanity’s inability to read anything for more than a few words at a time.) This site goes even further, claiming that attention spans have dropped from 12 seconds in 2000 to eight seconds in 2013 -- or one second shorter than the attention span of a goldfish. I don’t even really know what to do with that information.



Moving on. “Studies have shown that 32 percent of consumers will start abandoning slow sites between one and five seconds,” a story in the Guardian explained. “Bounce rate can be improved by up to 30 percent with the reduction of page size and resulting speed improvements. A one second delay in page load time can result in 11 percent fewer page views, 16 percent decreased customer satisfaction and 7 percent lost conversions.”



Those are pretty damning statistics about our inability to wait for anything and just about humanity as a whole, but at the same time: Waiting is boring and useless and ever less valuable in an on-demand universe. The world is faster, faster, faster these days. That’s the current reality, and it’s not going anywhere. Leaving a page that isn’t loading isn’t a character fault; it’s smart. You can get the information you were after elsewhere, and you can get it faster. If we really valued what we were made to wait for, well, we would wait.



Charley Wickman, an executive creative director at the Publicis Groupe’s ad company Leo Burnett that oversaw a recent 90-second Firestone commercial, believes this to be the case. He argues that the general public can handle longer advertisements, flying directly in the face of the short attention span/no waiting theory. “People are used to a shot of whiskey, not a glass. You give them the glass, and that alone is different,” he told Variety. “The question is, how good is the whiskey? Are you going to finish it?”



While I’m not sure I agree with his choice of metaphors -- handing out glasses of whiskey seems like a bad idea on principle -- his general sentiment makes some sense: Do things well and people will stick around. If you create value, they will stay.



Time is a strange thing, a mix of reality and perception. Boyhood, the Richard Linklater film that boasts a perfect IMDB rating, spans and was actually filmed over 12 years of the protagonist’s life, more than 100,000 hours of real time. The movie itself, though, runs almost three hours, or about 0.003 percent of the main character’s life. In that way, perhaps Boyhood is the perfect movie for 2014, a long, compelling story crammed into an almost infinitely shorter timeline.



Another quote from a different movie comes to mind, too. “Life moves pretty fast,” Ferris Bueller tells the camera at some point during his big Day Off. “If you don’t stop and look around for a while, you could miss it.”



He’s not wrong -- but you also miss a heck of a lot by standing there, too.



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It Takes Me 23 Hours to Wake Up Refreshed

I'm not a morning person. Never have been. Take away my clock and I will stay up two or three hours after midnight and get up mid-morning. I love the peacefulness of the night. Everyone is asleep, it's quiet and too late for the noisy vacuum. My time, my peace.



But that's not a reasonable schedule for someone who gets to work at 7:30... a.m.! I've fought my body clock for years and, for much of my adult life, didn't get enough sleep. I just wasn't tired enough, or ready, to get to bed at a reasonable hour. And I really didn't want to. Finally a solution and, though it takes me 23 hours of preparation to get up ready and refreshed, it's working for me.



Most of us compartmentalize our day. Getting up and out -- morning work -- lunch -- afternoon work -- dinner and evening time -- sleep. All separate parts of a day. But that isn't the case. A day is a continuous stream of time, and what you do in one part carries on into the next. Though a continuous stream, I've found that being mindful of the transitions and what is following me to the next phase can be helpful to moving the day along in a positive way, and actually help me to get to sleep earlier and easier. Let me explain.



Like many, I wake, shower, have breakfast and get ready to leave for work. Hopefully, I've had a good night's sleep and am ready for the day. Before I leave, however, I start to get ready for bed. My bed is made, my room straightened -- all the clothes I tried on but decided against hung back in the closet. I leave my room how I want to find it at bedtime. Now, I'm ready for the next step.



If I haven't had a good night's sleep and wake up tired and/or crabby, I'll probably take that mood with me out the door and the odds of shedding it by the time I get to work aren't good. Feeling refreshed allows me to better handle the difficult things and people that fling themselves my way during the day.



For those of us who eat at our desk, it usually doesn't feel as if we've had any mid-day respite at all. So, before I eat lunch, I try to take a quick walk around the block or at least get away from my desk and stretch my legs. I move all work off to the side of my desk and, if possible, shut off the computer monitor while I eat a healthy meal that will sustain me throughout the afternoon. Surfing the Net doesn't work for me during lunch because work messages and alerts pop up around my shopping sites. No fun. I'd rather shop interrupted at home. Besides, my eyes could use a break from the screen.



Lunch done, desk cleared of crumbs, it's time to move on, and work shifts back to the center of the desk and the day continues. As the hour to leave approaches, it's time to take a stress inventory and focus on getting the day's conflicts resolved while there's still time. What is hanging over you will follow you home, an unwelcome guest, at best. When it's almost time to leave, I repeat my leaving-home exercise and try to leave my desk that way I would like to see it when I return -- mostly cleared off, projects in folders, stacked off to the side or in a drawer.



Whatever I do in the evenings, home or out, I eat and drink sensibly and don't wait until I'm exhausted before getting ready for bed. I try to maintain the calm I've been nurturing all day. For bedtime, I take my cues from a toddler. Put the toys away, take a warm bath/shower, put on my bed clothes and go straight to my uncluttered and peaceful room. Read a little. Good night kiss. Sweet dreams.



You take your day to bed with you every night. Make sure it's company that will help you wake refreshed.



Visit http://ift.tt/1hKH1yQ or Bed Camp on FaceBook for more tips on leading a stress-free, happy life.



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How Fit Are You, Really?

By Joe Vennare for Life by DailyBurn



You run and weight train. You've done yoga and can almost touch your toes. So that means you're fit, right? Well, maybe. Trouble is, there's no definitive method for determining fitness across the board. As a result, an IRONMAN, CrossFit athlete and bodybuilder can all be fit by their own standards, but a flop outside of their specific domain.



According to strongman legend Earle Liederman, fitness means being able to save your own life in an emergency.



So what's the best test of fitness? In grade school, the President's Fitness Challenge might have set the standard. But as grown-ups, gauging our strengths -- and weaknesses -- might require a more well-rounded approach. After all, the journey from fitness seeker to physically fit begins by finding your baseline. And in order to get where we want to go, we have to know where we stand.



Whether you're a total beginner or totally advanced, these seven fitness assessments lay the groundwork for what it means to be fit in different categories -- from strength to cardio to total-body conditioning. That means there's no more faking fitness! Tackle these tests to figure out, once and for all, how fit you really are.



Strength In Numbers

Presses, pushups and protein are all part of most strength training programs. But there's one thing that's continually left out of the exercise equation: gauging performance. If arm wrestling contests aren't your thing, consider one of these more traditional strength tests.



The Pushup Test

Level: Beginner

Focus: Muscular endurance

How It Works: For this assessment, the goal is to perform as many pushups as possible in 60 seconds flat. To begin, set up in pushup position with hands shoulder-width apart and legs together. Lower yourself down until your chest makes contact with the ground and repeat. Performance standards vary based on age and sex, but men should fall between 20 and 40 reps, while women should aim for eight to 20 pushups to earn passing marks. To get those numbers up, try adding the wide and close grip pushup as well as incline and decline variations to your regular exercise routine.



One-Rep Max

Level: Intermediate/Advanced

Focus: Maximal strength

How It Works: After moving from bodyweight exercises into the world of free weights, the one-rep max is the go-to gauge for strength. That said, the one-rep max is not applicable for every exercise, so you can skip the all-out triceps extension or concentration curl. Instead, focus on maxing out compound exercises like barbell front or back squat, bench press, military press and deadlift. Once you're finished testing, see how you stack up to the standard of strength used by Rob Shaul of Military Athlete, who compares strength to bodyweight to measure relative strength. After establishing a one-rep max, use these numbers to determine how much weight should be used during strength training workouts (see Overload Principle).



The Run-Around

You've pumped iron, but can you get the heart pumping too? Improving the body's ability to transport and use oxygen helps it perform more efficiently, upping endurance and overall levels of fitness. Is your heart in the right place?



200-Meter Sprint

Level: Beginner/Intermediate

Focus: Top-end speed

How It Works: For Liederman, being able to save your own life in an emergency included the ability to run all-out for at least 200 meters. To test your speed, head to the track or mark out 200 meters. After a dynamic warm-up, perform a series of sprints increasing intensity and length each round. Start with two 50-meter sprints before moving up to two 100-meter and two 150-meter efforts. Last up, set a stopwatch and sprint all 200 meters striving for top-end speed. While Usain Bolt runs 200 meters in under 20 seconds, finishing in sub-30 seconds means you're on the right track. Step up your sprint game by practicing the start, adding squats to your strength workout and performing sprint intervals to get those fast-twitch muscle firing.



Two-Mile Run

Level: Intermediate/Advanced

Focus: Cardio conditioning

How It Works: The Army uses the two-mile run to test cardiovascular threshold. Ready to roll? Time how long it takes you to complete eight laps on a 400-meter track (or track your stats on a GPS watch). Finishing in 12 to 14 minutes is above average, while 15 to 17 minutes is fair and more than 17 minutes is considered below average.



Fit From Head To Toe

Think cardio and weights are two separate beasts? This last batch of fitness assessments roll strength, cardio and athleticism into one. Do you have what it takes?



CrossFit Baseline WOD

Level: Beginner/Intermediate

Focus: Total-body fitness

How It Works: A chipper is a series of exercises to that are completed in order, chipping away at each movement, until the entire workout is finished. In this baseline workout, the goal is to complete a 500-meter row followed by 40 air squats, 30 sit-ups, 20 pushups and 10 pull-ups for time. By CrossFit standards an intermediate score is 7:15 for men, and 8:30 for women.



Marine Corps Fitness Test

Level: Intermediate

Focus: Total-body fitness

How It Works: This fitness test includes three exercises: pull-ups, sit-ups and a three-mile run. But don't let that fool you. Designed to assess the strength and stamina of Marines, this test can be a humbling exercise experience. Perform as many pull-ups as possible, without dropping off of the bar, followed by two minutes of maximum sit-ups. Last up is a three-mile run for time. For a Marine, passing this test means performing at least three pull-ups, 45 crunches and logging three miles in under 30 minutes. For those setting the bar high, a perfect score includes 100 crunches in two minutes, 20 dead-hang pull-ups and three miles in less than 18 minutes. Looking for training tips? Look no further than Marine Maj. Dean Keck, who has scored a perfect 300 on 43 consecutive tests over the course of 20 years!



Operator Ugly

Level: Advanced

Focus: Maximal strength and cardio conditioning

How It Works: As the name suggests, this fitness test can be brutal. The creation of Rob Schaul from Military Athlete, “Operator Ugly” was designed for soldiers, contractors and operators (soldiers trained in guerilla fighting techniques). Combining max effort weight training (deadlift, bench press and front squat) with a series of sprints, this workout pushes the limits of human performance. Translation: Do not try this at home.



Finding Fitness

Ready to find out how fit you really are? If your answer is yes (and we hope it is!) remember you don't have to take on all of these tests at once. In fact, several might not be advised based on your current fitness level (we're looking at you, Operator Ugly!). Check in with a doctor or certified trainer if you have any injuries or medical conditions, and consider setting up a testing schedule so you can go all-out with adequate recovery time between assessments. And be sure to record your performance. After all, that's the true path to fitness: test, train, repeat.



More from Life by DailyBurn:

5 CrossFit Workouts That Will Kick Your Butt

9 Homemade Sports Drink Recipes

How to Do a Pull-Up (Or Add More Reps)



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What Kayakers Can Teach Us About Living Well

Some plunge down waterfalls while others fish from their vessels, but kayakers have one thing in common: They all know a thing or two about leading a healthy lifestyle.



Bobbing around on a kayak offers a lot more than a relaxing way to spend a sunny afternoon. Here's what kayakers can teach the rest of us about leading happier, healthier lives.



Strength pays off.

All of that hardcore paddling (and water resistance!) lends itself to a serious workout. Just one hour of kayaking can burn over 350 calories, depending on how hard you paddle. Kayaking builds muscle strength in more areas than just the arms. "Since kayaking utilizes the core muscles, you can enjoy the benefits of an ab workout far from the confines of a sweaty gym," Brad Bostrom, REI Outdoor Programs and North Bay Area Outreach Market Manager, tells The Huffington Post. Proper technique even requires use of muscles in the legs, back and shoulders, as well as the muscles that rotate the torso.



Plus, consistent motion is a great way to get your heart beating (and a lot easier on the knees than pounding pavement). Men's Journal even went so far as to dub kayaking one of the best workouts for heart health. In addition to decreasing fat and increasing lean muscle mass, the intense cardio pays off in the form of oxygen consumption. Research shows that elite kayakers actually breathe more efficiently.



We should all stress a little (or a lot) less.

kayaking

As many physical benefits as there are to paddling, there are just as many mental ones. Whether battling Class IV rapids or drifting along with the help of ocean waves, kayaking is a way to de-stress. Plus, "as a silent, non-competitive sport, it's also a great way to clear your head," Jeffrey Chitek, operations manager and guide at Kayak Swamp Tours and Gravity Trails in New Orleans, tells The Huffington Post.



Exercise decreases stress by increasing endorphins, bringing athletes to the present moment and actually lifting moods. A new book, Blue Mind, by Wallace J. Nichols, Ph.D., shows that adding water to the equation brings a whole new level of stress-busting. "Being by water meditates you," said Nichols in an interview with Outside Online. "It puts you in that relaxed state. You don’t need to study or practice meditation. You just need to pay attention to the water around you."



We all need the "sunshine vitamin."

Time spent outdoors comes with a slew of bonuses, including vitamin D intake. Boston University Medical Center professor Dr. Michael F. Holick, M.D., Ph.D., previously explained to HuffPost that the "sunshine vitamin" can be one of the toughest to get from foods, and many of us actually take in over 80 percent of it from those golden rays. Kayaking is a way to log what Holick calls some "sensible sun exposure" time. That means if you are likely to mildly sunburn after a half-hour of sun exposure, get 10 to 15 minutes of sun before applying some waterproof sunscreen to protect your skin from the sun's ultraviolet rays.



Confidence is key.

happy kayakers

Overcoming extreme challenges like whitewater rapids, or even paddling a longer distance than you did last time, is a way to build confidence and positive self-image. Research published in the Journal of Leisurability found that kayaking leads to increased social skills and sense of self, as well as an overall boost in self-satisfaction.



In addition to amping up confidence, kayaking can also build brainpower, according to Chitek. "There is nothing like floating through a forest and surprising a sun-bathing alligator because you came up so quietly," he says. "I see and learn new things every day I'm out there, and it becomes knowledge."



Interested in taking up the sport yourself?

So you're ready to hear the splash of your paddle and feel the gentle rock of the waves. Luckily, it's easier to start kayaking than you may think. We talked to the experts to find the best tips for beginner kayakers:


  • Pick the right vessel. Chitek recommends going for a wide boat that allows you to sit on top of it. "These boats are much easier to get back in if one was to flip it over... it happens," he says. Along with your boat, Bostrom advises investing in a high-quality, lightweight paddle, which will be easier on your body and make for more efficient movement.



  • Wear a life jacket. Even the best swimmers can tire quickly in rough or cold water, so kayakers of all levels should always wear life jackets. "They don’t do any good stuffed away in the back of your kayak," Bostrom says.



  • Watch the weather. Finding yourself stranded in a storm can put far more than a damper on your day. Lightning loves to strike water and wind can create dangerous waves, so it's always good to check the forecast before heading out, says Chitek.



  • Paddle with pals. Not only is there more fun in numbers, but heading out with a friend is a whole lot safer, says Bostrom.



  • Don't lose your way. Land markers are vital to even the most experienced kayakers. Chitek suggests leaving a path of colored fabric tied to trees that you can collect on your way back to shore (remember, leave no trace!). You can also leave a large, recognizable object at your launch point so that you can easily find your way out of the water. And when in doubt, it's always smart to head out with a guide.






So long treadmills, we're going rogue! This story is part of our Go Rogue series, where we explore how outdoor sports make us healthier, happier and full of adventure.



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10 Tips For Surviving Your Quarter Life Crisis

When I think about my quarterlife crisis, I don't think about regrettable text messages or the science behind 4 a.m. nachos that "soak up" alcohol -- though those things were certainly a part of it. I think, instead, of the disconnect I felt between what I was doing and what I actually wanted. Though I regularly committed to jobs, boyfriends and friendships, I completely lacked conviction in any of those choices. I passively accepted whatever came my way.



One restless evening while mindlessly applying to jobs I hoped might save me, I realized how ridiculous it was that I expected a job, boyfriend or carefully constructed Instagram persona to rescue me. To be happy, I needed to take control of my choices. And I knew my biggest hurdle would be self-confidence. Finding self-confidence was as illusive to me as finding twenty bucks in an old jacket pocket.



I began writing about my struggle to escape various twentysomething ruts for the website HelloGiggles and quickly realized that what I was going through was relatable -- and it had actionable solutions. Confidence became more and more tangible to me. My book The Twentysomething Guide To Getting It Together [Adams Media, $16.99] focuses on the practical tactics that helped me start feeling good about my life. Here are some of those tactics, which build confidence while simultaneously conquering any quarterlife crisis -- because, after all, one victory does not exist without the other.



1. Find a career mentor. They are all around you!

You are not alone in this -- as much as you may think so while struggling to fall asleep at night. Not only do you have friends to commiserate; you've got coworkers, bosses and teachers who are happy to share their secrets. So get on their calendar and learn their magical ways. Having the courage to speak your goals aloud can help make them feel real.



2. Do whatever it takes to limit your social media consumption. Whatever it takes.


Some ideas? Don't let your phone or computer automatically save your social media passwords. Keep technology just out of reach. Give your roommate a water gun and instruct them to hit you right in the eye every time you log in. Social Media can be a fun way to check out your aunt's Farmville activity, but it can also damage your confidence. Profiles represent each member's greatest hits, not their experimental polka album. If you try to compare your real life to those standards, you may lose track of your own goals in favor of impressing others.



3. Exercise your brain to make positive connections.

Stop bombarding yourself with negativity. Contrary to the mythology that surrounds him, LeBron James was not born with the ability to make his free throws -- he practiced until his brain became so comfortable with the motion he didn't even need to think about it. In much the same way, your brain can be trained to think positively. How? Try giving out five compliments a day to the people around you. It'll help you recognize life's finer points.



4. Get to know your vices so well they can't fool you anymore.

People use vices to distract themselves from responsibility. Some vices are obvious: smoking, television, videogames, etc. Others are a bit sneakier. During my quarterlife crisis, I did things like stay up hours past my bedtime trying to book the cheapest possible trip to a friend's wedding. I hid procrastination behind a seemingly productive activity. Why I avoided something as glorious as sleep so adamantly, I'll never know.



5. Don't waste time trying to attain the perfect "beach body."

In my twenties, I got pretty tired of trying to love my body: a finicky organic machine that would rather catch a cold than sprout even one lousy abdominal muscle. Taking care of your health should not be about loving your body, but about learning to love yourself. So take yourself on long runs on the beach, draw yourself an Epson salt bath and curl up with yourself for a long night's sleep. You are worth it!



6. Get a planner and let it work it's magic.

Write everything down and your planner will do the rest. It'll keep track of bills, your toilet paper supply and whether happy hour is going to conflict with your friend's improv show. Being on top of your schedule helps you to feel less like a scatterbrain and more in control. Maybe one day you'll have a Spidey-sense for the things on your to-do list, but during your quarterlife crisis? Write everything down.



7. Don't allow break ups to become breakdowns.

It seems obvious, but I'll say it anyways: nobody has to be the bad guy during a break up. When feelings get hurt, there is an urge to place blame -- but that's not always helpful. Even if you outwardly blame the other person, you'll inevitably end up blaming yourself deep down. So don't engage in the blame game. Comfort yourself with a Die Hard movie whenever possible.



8. Don't take your friends for granted. Maybe take them for ice cream, instead.

As hectic as it is to wrap your mind around adult responsibilities and as tempting as it is to accumulate large quantities of acquaintances, don't blow off close friends in your twenties. Tell them what's on your mind and listen to what's on theirs because comparing notes on your quarter life crisis with a trusted confidant is essential to survival.



9. Make a five-year plan but don't etch it in stone. Who are you? Moses?

It's good to plan for the future: to look ahead and focus small tasks towards a larger goal. But make sure you are happy most of the time. Don't be afraid to admit that you were wrong about your dream career. Take a deep breath and allow new inspiration in.



10. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Your twenties are essentially Life Lessons 101, not a Master Class in Perfection. So relax! Save some soul-searching for your thirties, nerd!



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What The Heck Is Beard Oil, And How Does It Work?