Hello, old friend:
You and I have been together for a good seven years now. You know everything about me. I don't know everything about you. Sometimes, we'd spend every minute of the day together, but sometimes, you'd leave me alone for a while. I guess at this point, our relationship is "comfortable." It's what we're used to. But I'm putting an end to this. I'm breaking up with you.
My friends have always hated you. I've had to call them so many times because I just couldn't deal with you. My parents didn't like you either. They wanted you out of my life. So I talked to a doctor, and I talked to therapists, and guess what? They didn't think you belonged in my life either. I did the whole therapy thing, but I was so tired of fighting you. So I tried the whole pill thing, and that was a trip. Sometimes it would feel like I'd actually gotten you out of my life! I was riding this high where I could do anything I wanted. It made me feel like a superhero -- like the person I was actually born to be. But then you'd come back. And some of those pills, it's like they gave you extra strength. I stopped caring about everything. I didn't even feel anything at all. I was so numb. Listen to me when I tell you, the only thing worse than feeling sad all the time, is not being able to feel anything at all. I didn't feel like a human being.
I got pretty lucky around halfway through my junior year in high school. My family and I decided to change locations. We moved somewhere sunny, trying to escape you. And for more than a year you were out of my life. I felt on top of the world. Nothing bad existed in my life. It made me wonder what the rest of my high school life would've been like if you and I had never met. But I didn't stress over that. In fact, my senior year, I gave a whole speech all about you. I felt like I had total control for the first time in my life and I loved it.
You came back in college. I really, really didn't want you back in my life, but you followed me across the country. I wanted to spend my college years not just getting great grades, but staying out all night on the weekends with my friends and taking spontaneous road trips. But due to some external circumstances, you were back in my life, in full force. I talked to a new doctor. And we decided to give the therapy a try again, and some new medicines. But this time, I was the one who wanted this. I wanted to kick you out of my life for good. It was an uphill battle. There were a lot of days when I really did want to give up. Fighting you took every bit of my energy, and I was exhausted -- mentally, and physically. But I had family and friends that refused to let me give up on myself. They refused to let you dominate my life. They refused to let you control my life, or define my life.
I don't know when my Aha moment was. But waking up one morning, I looked in the mirror, and I was sad -- not because of you, but because I had let you have so much control for so much time. I realized that I am a person who matters. I am a person who makes a difference. And even though you have been a part of my life, you are not my life. I am a smart, strong, independent person and I have the power to control where my life takes me.
Maybe I can't do that completely on my own -- I might need the help of a prescription, or the advice of a therapist, or a good cry session every now and then. But I'm stronger than you. And when I graduate in December as a double major -- with honors -- I won't even be thinking of you. Try not to be too jealous.
So you should probably delete my number. I know that in the future you might try to start something up again, but please don't waste your time or mine. We are never getting back together. I love myself too much to let you hurt me any longer, and will take any steps necessary to keep you at a distance. And if I ever see you going for one of my friends, watch out. I love them, too, and would never let you hurt them.
I'd say I'll miss you, but that'd be a lie. You might want to pick up another hobby besides making people unhappy.
-- Chelsea
from Healthy Living - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1sCMcI4
via IFTTT
You and I have been together for a good seven years now. You know everything about me. I don't know everything about you. Sometimes, we'd spend every minute of the day together, but sometimes, you'd leave me alone for a while. I guess at this point, our relationship is "comfortable." It's what we're used to. But I'm putting an end to this. I'm breaking up with you.
My friends have always hated you. I've had to call them so many times because I just couldn't deal with you. My parents didn't like you either. They wanted you out of my life. So I talked to a doctor, and I talked to therapists, and guess what? They didn't think you belonged in my life either. I did the whole therapy thing, but I was so tired of fighting you. So I tried the whole pill thing, and that was a trip. Sometimes it would feel like I'd actually gotten you out of my life! I was riding this high where I could do anything I wanted. It made me feel like a superhero -- like the person I was actually born to be. But then you'd come back. And some of those pills, it's like they gave you extra strength. I stopped caring about everything. I didn't even feel anything at all. I was so numb. Listen to me when I tell you, the only thing worse than feeling sad all the time, is not being able to feel anything at all. I didn't feel like a human being.
I got pretty lucky around halfway through my junior year in high school. My family and I decided to change locations. We moved somewhere sunny, trying to escape you. And for more than a year you were out of my life. I felt on top of the world. Nothing bad existed in my life. It made me wonder what the rest of my high school life would've been like if you and I had never met. But I didn't stress over that. In fact, my senior year, I gave a whole speech all about you. I felt like I had total control for the first time in my life and I loved it.
You came back in college. I really, really didn't want you back in my life, but you followed me across the country. I wanted to spend my college years not just getting great grades, but staying out all night on the weekends with my friends and taking spontaneous road trips. But due to some external circumstances, you were back in my life, in full force. I talked to a new doctor. And we decided to give the therapy a try again, and some new medicines. But this time, I was the one who wanted this. I wanted to kick you out of my life for good. It was an uphill battle. There were a lot of days when I really did want to give up. Fighting you took every bit of my energy, and I was exhausted -- mentally, and physically. But I had family and friends that refused to let me give up on myself. They refused to let you dominate my life. They refused to let you control my life, or define my life.
I don't know when my Aha moment was. But waking up one morning, I looked in the mirror, and I was sad -- not because of you, but because I had let you have so much control for so much time. I realized that I am a person who matters. I am a person who makes a difference. And even though you have been a part of my life, you are not my life. I am a smart, strong, independent person and I have the power to control where my life takes me.
Maybe I can't do that completely on my own -- I might need the help of a prescription, or the advice of a therapist, or a good cry session every now and then. But I'm stronger than you. And when I graduate in December as a double major -- with honors -- I won't even be thinking of you. Try not to be too jealous.
So you should probably delete my number. I know that in the future you might try to start something up again, but please don't waste your time or mine. We are never getting back together. I love myself too much to let you hurt me any longer, and will take any steps necessary to keep you at a distance. And if I ever see you going for one of my friends, watch out. I love them, too, and would never let you hurt them.
I'd say I'll miss you, but that'd be a lie. You might want to pick up another hobby besides making people unhappy.
-- Chelsea
from Healthy Living - The Huffington Post http://ift.tt/1sCMcI4
via IFTTT
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