Monday, December 29, 2014

How to Be Lonely in America


  • Believe that your Twitter/Facebook followers are truly your friends. Invest more time and effort in wooing, and keeping, their approval, meanwhile, dismissing the approval of actual people you've known for years.





  • Take social media seriously.





  • State publicly, and often, how sick you are of being alone, and yet, whenever you are in public, be sure to keep your eyes firmly trained on your smartphone/tablet at all times, so as to avoid even the slightest scrap of human contact. Meanwhile, continue to publicly lament your inability to find true love.





  • Believe in true love without true effort.





  • Document, instead of live, your life.





  • Choose irony over achievement.





  • Chase the fantasy of perfection.





  • Choose perfect fear over messy human connection.





  • Be guided by your fears instead of your dreams. (FYI: Allowing your dreams to guide you, in our fear-soaked culture, is another short-cut to loneliness, but such is life.)





  • Refuse to learn from your mistakes.





  • Read women's magazines and take their advice.





  • Devote the best years of your life to watching TV.





  • Care more about TV characters than your own character.





  • Actively seek out postings on social media to enrage you.





  • Reject compromise.





  • Visit cat cafes rather than cat shelters... or even, your own cat(s).





  • Believe that orgasms are somehow indicative of real love.





  • Believe that being married implies true love, or even true commitment.





  • Take "romantic" "comedies" seriously.





  • Take "Hollywood" seriously.





  • Take yourself seriously.





  • Take life seriously, even as you keep stopping yourself from truly living the life you desire.






from Healthy Living - The Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/carlota-zimmerman/how-to-be-lonely-in-america_b_6390222.html?utm_hp_ref=healthy-living&ir=Healthy+Living

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